Syaoran's Unfortunate Life
by lafleurchinois
Summary: Syaoran evil as can be? Possibly... some things you have to forget and some things you need to hold on to... This is Syaoran's life told by him... Complete...
1. I Am Born

Disclaimer: no I don't own any of this: CLAMP does.  
  
Warning: I am not kidding anyone under the age of 15 plz get out of here. I am serious. Reading this will make you regret ever coming to www.fanfiction.net I am going to get in trouble with the site if there are ne complaints. I am warning you ahead of time. There is enough time for you to move somewhere else on this site. Okee for those of you whom are supposedly of 15 years. Welcome to the world of me. lifesux88imeanit. This is my own piece of work. No copy. I can sue. Enjoy this and I cannot be liable for ne of the vulgarity or even the gruesome scenes that are to be read here. I warned everyone. No I am not psycho I am just a genius with words and love to put everything in detail. Have fun ne ways.  
  
Chapter One: I Was Born  
  
I don't think that I was supposed to be born. At least that is what I think. Ever since I met her, there was nothing that I wanted in the world than to make her happy, but me with my brutality and crude ways she just slipped quietly without any say. I regret that, but I killed her boyfriend and I am going to find her. I want her in my arms, I want to smell her silken hair, and I want to take her as she is. She is the one I dreamed about every night in my dreams as a little boy; she is the girl I was seeing and never saw her face. Once I saw her face I unleashed the ultimate evil, worse than what everyone reads on vampires and anything of that sort. This is how I was born.  
  
The ultimate evil is me; the very soul within me is pure evil that cannot be stopped, even Satan can't do anything to over power me. How I want Sakura so badly. That sissy pansy ass was nothing. He wanted to caress her and she just simply turned him away, yet she loved him so why God? I can do better than he, and I killed him, every part of him is scattered in that place he calls his domain. That foolish boy didn't know who he was up against and I was just disgusted with him and how he treated her, my cherry blossom; no one can corrupt her, no one can have her, but me.  
  
I left no deed unturned; I did what I did to her beloved; her beloved is something that I want to have proved so I can have pity on her. He is no more important than a paper is to pass you in a class. That sonofabitch died under my hand so honorless, he didn't even give any last words when I gave him the chance; I knew he didn't love her from the start. I killed him there and then swiftly and quietly without any hesitation. I started to hate her and began to feel much better after butchering him into many pieces for the authorities to have a field day looking for the parts. That wasn't the fun of it though, no one would understand me; I was sent to an institute when I was a little kid for all of the odd things I did to scare my mother. You see my father died, of so I thought, when I was a little kid. Boy was I wrong. Five years old and I knew everything there was to know to amaze my family. I knew there was something wrong, that I was missing someone, yet my mother said nothing and everyone else played along; no for long. One day, when I was playing in one of the numerous gardens my mother kept I saw a strange man who had a striking resemblance to me walk up to me. He was my father, I didn't have to say 'Daddy' or anything of the sort I knew who my father was and there was nothing my mother could say. I tried to talk to him and ask why he was gone for five years since I was born and my mother just sent my away. For a whole night I heard my parents argue and plates and such fly and crash onto the walls and the floor. After months that my mother found me up on the roof of the mansion and attempting to fly high into the sky, she sent me off in a heart beat and I hated her for that; I never saw my family since then and my father I heard was assassinated by my mother's henchmen. I never enjoyed the way I was, the life of just receiving money every month from the family I never saw, the family that I was with for five years of my life and then dumped into some institute for maniacs. Believe me I was never a maniac; being five and not knowing why your father was never in your life. I hated the rest of my family and I will never bother to go to any funerals, I don't care they never cared for me even when I was born, I was just another burden for them. My mother especially, she just sent me out once I was on that roof. Never forgave her even if I am older, mature, and know better.  
  
Yea, yea, okay this isn't as vulgar, gruesome as I said it was gonna be. aight this is bogus, but this is only the first chapter. I can explain more on the up coming chapters. This only took me less than an hour to write so I don't care if there are ne reviews I just want to know how many people are going to react. Here is something better. Give reviews to my friend Seung Xiang. He would love that. Lol... Jm. he is just another writer like me. Chapters two and three are coming soon. Watch out. There are going to be more and more attachments. 


	2. The Rest of My Life

*Chapter one has everything that you need to know so just read on if you understand me. if you don't email me at ithinkayeluvu@aol.com or go and email my friend niscia she'll gladly put something into your heads that you'll like you can reach her at itsinmyeye@crazedanddazed.com IM her: crazedReject there you're all set. Enjoy and plz try and tell me if there is something wrong with it.  
  
Chapter Two: The Rest of My Life  
  
After the searching for the real me, which was never to happen ever, I just took all of the money saved up from when my mother sent me money every month at the institute and moved out of town. I was around the age of ten when I found out that there were things for me to do when I was born. My mother passed that onto the annoying cousin I was supposed to marry; I don't even remember her name at all. I just became the lone wolf as my mother named me, Syaoran. My name fit me, but I felt as if I wasn't supposed to be alone all of my life.  
  
Getting through the real world, it wasn't as bad as my sisters used to tell me. Feimei was such and air head I wish my mother has sent her somewhere with the monks. I always heard that there were many people that wanted to know what you did every minute of your life and where you stayed and where you frequented. Were they wrong; I knew that they were just trying to protect me from that, but eventually I realized that. Being alone in the world isn't fun, but I didn't want to go back running to my mother that abandoned me because of my father and that I tried to play on the roof, no, I just went my own merry way. I even found a bank account to put all of my money in; I was the bank's best customer. School wasn't a problem, I just said that I was a Li and they let me in. My mother knew everyone in the world and that meant everywhere. That wasn't so bad.  
  
Moving on from the real world, I was around fifteen when I met her. Sakura Kinomoto, she was something. I remembered from my dreams in the institute that she was tall graceful and had pretty auburn hair that flowed like silk in a breeze and the sakura petals would encircle her once the wind shook. I never saw her face until I came to Japan. I was in high school. She was in high school. I remember all of the guys that circled her to get her attention I remember the evil that borne inside of me and the pain it would cause in years to come after that short sight of her. I can still smell fresh blood from the dozens of people that tried to harm her and the millions of screams that followed; I can remember the horror in the eyes of mourners and former classmates when they heard that their chums died.  
  
Once I moved into Tomedea, all that was placid and serene was lost to my lust for her, and the lust was forever concealed in one night when I had the chance to rid of it forever but killing her...  
  
Meahahahaha... think that I am going to continue... yea right... more reviews means more... 


	3. I couldn't

read all of the warnings first... jk

Chapter Three: I couldn't...

How could I kill her? How could I? I couldn't, that night when I was with her in the park where she asked me to join her; just the two of us. I was fifteen years old and we were just walking around the park talking about our families. I didn't know what to tell her, but I know I did something very stupid; I kissed her. Fifteen and I was still a foolish boy in love. She didn't say no, she gave back and that made me wonder what she was thinking.

She came home with me that night; we just met that night and she followed me home. I didn't know how to tell her I liked her or even that I was full of evil, but she was just really beautiful. Her lithe, athletic body was so graceful I couldn't resist and she just went along with whatever I wanted. I was just so in love with her I didn't realize that there were going to be consequences with my actions. We made love, but there was something that was coming to my mind every time I closed my eyes; I saw her going into a clinic, to be specific and an abortion clinic. The horror in my eyes when I realized that she was carrying my child; I just woke her up after an hour and then told her to call me the next day.

She never called me or the next day or the next week or even the next month. She didn't show up for school three weeks later. Some of her friends said that she was a little sick. The horror struck me again just like that night when I took her innocence away. Everyone was starting to wonder why I was so upset that she wasn't in school. She never came to school for the next nine months; I was worried something happened to her, but her best friend called me up one night to come to the hospital because Sakura was there. I was so scared that something was wrong. Was I wrong, the baby was going to be born and I was the father and Sakura needed me there. I got there as fast as I could and there she was holding a baby in her arms. I almost hugged her, but refrained from doing so, because her whole family was there watching my every move.

She was in tears, looking at me so sorry and looking at her father and older brother mouthing that it was alright. Her older brother Touya approached me and just patted me on the shoulder. Her father just nodded at me wondering why I was there. Tomoyo, her best friend, just came up to me and said, "Go and meet your son Syaoran." Sakura nearly broke down when she asked everyone but me to get out of the room. I didn't want to see her cry like that and I took the baby from her. I decided that the best thing for him was to put him up for adoption, because it was the best thing to do; I didn't want to send him off to Hong Kong to my family, because my mother would corrupt him.

The day that I said goodbye to my son was a month after he was born, since Sakura and I wanted to spend time with him before he was given to a family that was in town. That was the saddest day in my life, losing my son. That was when more of the evil started to stir in my soul again. I was almost sixteen and I had my first child, was I a stupid kid; Sakura was just in my arms and in tears when she had to say goodbye to him. Before giving him to his other family, I gave them a picture of all three of us and I was even shedding my tears of sorrow. This was something that my mother would consider my punishment. Sakura and I never talked since then, I tried to, but she ignored me.

A year later I received a letter that was so heart shattering I think that Sakura got one too. Our son died on his first birthday along with his adopted parents. The letter told of how he died: he was just playing in the park with the people that adopted him and... And someone just started shooting randomly. There were five shots to his head... and he died on the spot. The parents died from shots at the chest. I was receiving phone calls all night from Sakura and I didn't bother to answer one, but finally I did and I went over as fast as I could to comfort her. Getting to her house I was so sad, I almost crashed into a tree and the fire hydrant thinking about my son. Her brother answered the door teary eyed and Sakura came out to greet me. Tomoyo wasn't there and I was glad, since she was going be taping every single minute of everything. I was crying my heart out since that little boy was my son and I basically swore revenge on whoever killed him.

Sakura never knew why I was so angry all of the time, so I told her that night when she asked me to stay the night. There was some chemistry I have to say, but this time she was the one asking me for it and I just decided it was okay so we made love for the last time. Three weeks later she was found to be pregnant, I didn't know why the damned condom broke, but this time she threatened to go to the clinic. I wouldn't let her and for the next nine months I was with her, but I decided this time, I would give my child to my family over in Hong Kong, this was the hardest thing from placing my first child for adoption; I hated my family remember and I was abandoned by them, but they would ensure his or her safety.

Sakura wouldn't allow it and she did one of the most horrific things that I would never imagine her doing: a week before our daughter was born she drank so much alcohol and smoked everything imaginable and threw herself off the stairs. The next morning she was in the hospital wondering where she was and when I came in there all bruised from her flying punches and kicks she asked me what happened to her. I looked at her coldly and told her what she did to make our child be put in neonatal with all of the doctors trying their best to save her. I made her feel so down that I think sense came to her that day. I named her Chance, since she was my chance to prove that I was a good person and she was my chance to rid myself of the evil inside. She was such a pretty child and I didn't want her to close those eyes of hers she was my only way to rid myself of evil and I told her even if she was a baby that I would do anything to keep her alive and I would; but Sakura didn't' want her alive at all, I hated her for it.

Chance was a little blessing to me when she got out of neonatal weeks later; Sakura wasn't too blessed to see her at all and I was holding her as if she were my only treasure. The Kinomoto family was happy to see her, she was so tiny, yet everyone loved her. I told Sakura that she was the hope I had to be a better person, but she wanted out of everything even her family. I was surprised someone like her would do something like that. I felt as if my evil was gone, but I was wrong. One night when Chance was sleeping, I heard someone go into her nursery. I was so scared that I brought my sword and found someone holding her. I stepped closer to see that it was Sakura crying and holding the baby. I didn't know why, but I told her to put Chance down before anything happened.

She wouldn't listen to me. I went over to where Sakura was standing and saw that she was holding the lifeless body of my daughter. She was already dead while sleeping. More evil surged within me and I grabbed Sakura by her hair and asked her what she did with Chance. Sakura trembled in my grip, but told me the truth. She didn't' kill her, Chance just died in her sleep. I broke down and started murmuring that life was so unfair and that I was never going to be rid of evil in my life. Sakura was just wondering why I was saying that. She didn't understand that I was abandoned when I was five and I wanted to love someone in return for their love, not that I wanted to lose people that I loved. I was in so much pain that I almost took her life and mine when I lost Chance. The people who knew Chance came and tried to tell me everything was going to be alright. Sakura was so upset that I was mourning her after three months. I hated her so much since she was the one who tried to kill her before she was born and didn't want her at all. Her family was trying to tell her that it was wrong for her to hurt me like that, but I just told her father and brother to leave her alone and think over what she wished for her daughter and happened.

Tomoyo even felt bad for me and so did everyone else, but I didn't take any of their pity I wanted to show Sakura that... that I lived to make her happy, but she didn't understand me. For the rest of high school I succeeded and made Sakura regret what she wished for. I loved her still for some reason, but I wanted to kill her so badly. I don't know why I couldn't kill her. I just couldn't...

Oookay this is freaky, but I needed something dramatic and this is dramatic... I am soooo sorry if ne one thinks that this is a little ya know um... bad... I am such a bad writer when it comes to these kinds of things... some of my friends have had these problems and I wanted to put this in there I am so sorry... if you don't want to me to write this ne more just r&r and I will terminate this... if you want me to...


	4. Can I Forgiver Her?

just remember I don't own ne thing and this is a bit weird for the younger kids reading or even writing here.  
  
I hate the system sometimes... oh well, this is the third to last chapter here and haha... I am not going to be posting the other too any time soon since I have more important things to attend to and besides there is nothing I can do about that... I am going to be doing a little research before writing any more... haha... there is a little kicker in the making... mwhaha... and I am going to be making another fan fiction... called "world so cold" look out for it... ja ne (0 - laughing in the process of writing everything else) oh yeah ne questions you can blog me at  
  
Enjoy the second to last chapter... tehehe...  
  
Chapter 4: Can I Forgive Her?  
Here are what I have so far: I hate my family back in Hong Kong for abandoning me when I was five, didn't kill Sakura when I had the chance to, had two kids at a young age and lost both of them, and now I am deciding whether or not I should forgive Sakura. I am the total mess that people don't want to be. I was miserable all my life up to now still, and I hate it. I swore the next time I heard Sakura and babies in the same sentence I would give the person who mentioned them a chance to give me three reasons in five seconds why I shouldn't kill them with my favorite sword.  
Enough about killing more people, I have had enough nightmares about the people I killed in college. I remember the pain I heard in their voices and the pleads they gave me, but there was nothing that could stop me I was in a rage. The rage that was growing made the evil stir within me. Now I just control it by staying up all night making my famous "Midnight blues personal quotes" until I fell asleep. It usually consisted with things like: "Darkness my friend, relieve me of my sorrows and lead me to comfort, or ... awaken me to my new home among the darkness far from pain." I was a pretty troubled person and still am. There is nothing I can do, I have just three hours until I see Sakura and tell her I was the one who killed all of her friends. What the hell is wrong with me?! I'm not even sure I want to see her face at all!! I don't even know what to do anymore!! This is beginning to be a little crazy, but I can't do anything about that; I am a maniac and she wouldn't take me back.  
Just last week she left a message on my answering machine to meet her in the park in three hours and now I am getting nervous! I'm not supposed to be like this!! I swear this is nothing compared to fencing competitions. It's been ten years since I last saw her in person; during those ten years I have been just watching her from a distance and then she just disappeared three years ago. She has the nerve to call after ten years of my agony, making me think about the things she has caused me to think about. What am I going to do! I can just remember her ten years ago.  
  
Flashback  
  
Ten years before...  
"Sakura what is wrong?"  
"Tomoyo-chan I have no idea, there is something missing that I can't put my finger on." Tears started welling in her eyes.  
"There there, it's okay, Syaoran is going to make sure everything is going to be alright."  
"Look at me, I am having another baby in one week and he is just trying to kill me." Looks at her bulging belly.  
"That isn't true Syaoran would never do something like that, he loves you as much as everyone else does, now cheer up!" wipes the tears off her face with a towel.  
"Tomoyo I hope you are right."  
"Of course I am you know I am."  
Meanwhile Syaoran was at the door with a tray to give to Sakura and over heard the conversation. He just dropped the tray and ran off somewhere.  
In the garden behind the house...  
"Sakura you don't understand, you don't know anything about me. I love you so much I could kill you at the same time. I can't do that!" he was beginning to cry and didn't realize that Sakura and Tomoyo could hear what he was saying and doing.  
"Sakura, is that Syaoran in your garden over there?"  
"Well, speak of the devil, he looks troubled. What do you think troubles him?"  
"Something troubles him all of the time Sakura don't you see it in his eyes? I think that I am going down there to see what is going on."  
"Tomoyo you shouldn't do that, it's Syaoran after all."  
"You are something Sakura I don't know why you hate him so much."  
"Tomoyo, please!"  
"Calm down Sakura! You really need to stop worrying all of the time."  
"You're right I think."  
"I'm going down there to talk to him okay. Just wait here." She kissed Sakura's forehead before leaving.  
  
Tomoyo wasn't scared of anything, she knew Syaoran was a good person at heart; just something wasn't right. She just walked into the garden and saw that he was on the ground crying. Tomoyo had never seen this side of Syaoran before and just placed a hand on his shoulder to tell him she was there for him. Syaoran just turned around and saw Tomoyo all calm and hugged her.  
"Tomoyo, you're the only other person that understands me. Please tell me why Sakura hates me?" he was trying to fight the tears, but they wouldn't go away.  
"She doesn't hate you, she's just curious on why you are always like this."  
"Tomoyo she knows all about my childhood and how I was abandoned at five, what more does she have to know about me?"  
"Everything Syaoran, this is the only thing that is going to save you from losing Sakura."  
"Tomoyo you can't tell Sakura anything that I am going to tell you."  
  
Syaoran tells Tomoyo everything from the day that he was abandoned to when he met Sakura and everything became a whole disaster. Suddenly the both of them heard screams from inside and rush in to see Sakura on the floor smelling like alcohol and marijuana. The sight was so horrific since they saw that she was at the bottom of the steps.  
"SAKURA, NO!!!" Syaoran was cradling her body and then realized the baby was still there and rushed her to the hospital, but she was kicking and screaming like a madwoman on the ride there that she didn't want that baby; then she was starting to kick and punch Syaoran who was in the next seat to her while Tomoyo was speeding like crazy to save the baby.  
"Tomoyo whatever you do don't stop. We have to save the baby."  
"Syaoran, I will try to, but how do you want to kill her while you love her so much?"  
"Tomoyo not now will you just concentrate on driving and then we'll talk more."  
"Alright, hospital here we come." Tomoyo drove the quickest she could and even broke a couple street signs, but didn't really care.  
  
Next morning, the doctors came out to tell Syaoran and Tomoyo that Sakura and the baby were fine, but the baby was in neonatal! Syaoran stormed off to Sakura's room and saw that she was wide awake.  
"Hello, why are you here?"  
"I am here to tell you that our daughter is in neonatal thanks to your stupidity Kinomoto!"  
"My stupidity, you're the one to talk Li!"  
"I wasn't the dumb one that drank everything in the house including the sake! And to top it off you smoked marijuana! You almost killed her!!"  
"Well, if she is doing fine, I think that you can send her off to Hong Kong to your mother so she can corrupt her as she failed to do you."  
"Don't you ever say things like that against my mother do you hear! The only reason I am here is just because of that little girl, you never cared, all you care about is what you want."  
"That isn't true."  
"Prove it Kinomoto! Prove it!"  
"Fine I will." She was just getting angry and Syaoran stormed out of the room.  
  
Syaoran bumped into Tomoyo and just shook his head violently.  
"She will never understand Tomoyo, you can't tell her okay?" he kissed her on the cheek.  
"I promise I won't Syaoran, just see how the baby is okay. I want to know how my niece is doing." She smiled at him.  
  
End Flashback  
  
I remember the pain when I saw my daughter in that incubator and all wired up, it made me wonder why Sakura was such a selfish person. Damn! I have thirty minutes before heading to the park and I am going to tell her everything I can. This isn't fair for me since I am the only other person that she shouldn't be seeing right now. I think that I should call Tomoyo and ask her what she thinks.  
No, I shouldn't call her; all she would ask from me is another one night stand like the other times she called me and said she was all by herself and scared. No, I won't call her; I'll just do everything on my own without having words put into my mouth. Damn, was I a stupid sonofabitch for falling for everything every other girl said? I hated myself when I saw Tomoyo just laying there in my arms when it should've been Sakura. I was a stupid person back then and I took advantage of her best friend. This is one nightmare that I cannot rid myself of. I swear this is something that you wouldn't want to get yourself into when you fall in love. I have to get out of my door and find Sakura and tell her everything.  
  
To be continued....  
  
Ha, this is something that I don't think anyone else would think of. Okay, maybe not! I am just bored and summer is almost over so I think that I am getting happier every minute I am writing. Don't worry the last chapter is coming soon and I mean soon. Ha, this is going to be the best thing to happen to me before school starts. Hope you liked this one better than the previous chapter. Sorry about making Tomoyo really whorish and stuff, there is nothing I could do to make her innocent. Ciao!! See you later... R&R plz!!! ToT - this is what I am going to look like when I don't get any reviews!!! o - this is going to be me when everyone reviews... and this is me when you copy my quotes- 0 lol....


	5. We Meet Again Sakura

Disclaimer: this isn't mine... read what I said on the warning on chapter one if you have a short term memory (jk o)  
  
Author's Note: the previous chapter is really depressing aok... I can fix that... there is a lil surprise for everyone at the end, but you have to read in order to get that surprise... omg this is going to be the one time I can make up for making everyone think that I wasn't going to make this a SS... you'll see o -- lifesux88imeanit  
p.s this is also in the present so don't worry I am not trying to confuse ne one... and in his point of view... in the beginning and then I am going to switch it to third person narrative later on... bear with me I no what I am doing...  
  
Chapter Five: We Meet Again Sakura  
  
I am so damned late she is going to... Ahhhhh.... I don't see Tomoyo there. This isn't funny. I am going to see the one that I have killed so many people for and I see that girl there again. Dammit, what am I going to do? I never should've agreed to seeing her again I should just turn around and go home she isn't going to show up.  
"Hey Syaoran are you looking for me?" she appears out of no where.  
"Sakura!" why am I running to her?  
"Syaoran Li it has been ten years and you still look the same." She's really cute.  
"You too Sakura, anything new lately?" why am I asking her that?  
"Alright I guess how about you." Shit she is looking at me that way again.  
"You want to go eat somewhere my treat." I take her hand; boy holding her hand is just like high school.  
  
Sakura and Syaoran walked off hand in hand and they go to dinner. Syaoran is just sitting there at the table looking at Sakura all googlely eyed. Sakura just blushes when Syaoran strikes a conversation on his "Midnight Blues Personal Quotes" column. Finally, they begin to eat dinner. Unfortunately, Tomoyo is at another table recording everything again, but is a tad bit jealous that it isn't her with Syaoran.  
Dinner is finished and Syaoran pays the bill and then asks Sakura if she would care for a walk in the park to talk a little bit more on what they have been doing for the past ten years. The walk is rather interesting, since Sakura is really interested in what Syaoran has to say. Finally, Sakura has the guts to say something.  
"Um... Syaoran there is something I have to tell you right now." She is acting shy now.  
"Sakura whatever it is you can tell me." He takes her hands into his and just gazes into hers like they were on their first date.  
"Tomoyo told me what you told her ten years ago. I am sorry that you feel that way, it isn't your fault, but why did you keep it from me you jerk?" she punches him lightly on the arm smiling sweetly to show her forgiveness.  
"Sakura, I just didn't want to hurt you in any way; how could I say that I loved you so much that I could kill you at the same time."  
"That wasn't what she told me. What is this about killing me when you loved me so much huh? Syaoran what is wrong with you? She told me that you were so worried about me and Chance that you couldn't bear to see the both of us in the hospital."  
"That isn't what I told her, besides that is what I was thinking, but I never told her that, it is different Sakura you wouldn't understand it one bit," turned to mouth something.  
"Syaoran you can tell me. I wouldn't want to have you keeping any secrets from me anymore. That just isn't fair that you can keep secrets and I have to tell you everything. Dish everything out Li." She was getting really angry.  
"Can we discuss this at my place I don't want anyone hearing a word of this," scratches his head.  
"Fine, as long as you are telling me the truth I won't run away."  
  
The two walk to Syaoran's apartment and sit down on his couch talking. The look he gave her when he told her everything that he had done to keep people from hurting her made her cry and the fact that her boyfriend from college was murdered by his best friend.  
"Syaoran, why didn't you tell me that you felt like that?" she was still crying.  
"Sakura you didn't know that it was you that drove me insane did you?"  
"I don't know what to say anymore Syaoran. First you fall in love with me even if you never knew me, but by your dreams from when you were a child. And then you and I messed up and had two children and lost them when they reached not even one. Then you tell me that when we continued on to college you killed your best friend and then killed many others that were out to harm me. What is wrong with you Syaoran Li? You aren't the boy that I thought you were." She gets up to leave.  
"Sakura I am really sorry please don't leave me again. I love you too much."  
"You love me too much to kill me Syaoran Li. I can't believe a word you are saying now. I am just going to leave you like you are supposed to be. I can't stand to see your face ever again." She heads for the door.  
"Sakura can you at least listen to me?" he blocks the door.  
"No! You're going to try to kill me you sick-minded maniac!" she begins to scream.  
"It's no use Sakura you're just to going to get yourself into more trouble by screaming. No one is here to hear you're screams and pleads. It's just no use." He gets away from the door and just sits down on the couch.  
"What are you saying Syaoran? You're confusing me."  
"Sakura as much as I want to love you I know that you're just going to keep on running away from everything you come to face. We lost two children at a very young age and I don't know whether or not you remember that as much as I do, but I remember it quite well. "  
"Syaoran are you trying to tell me after all of these years you haven't forgotten me?" she sits down next to him.  
"Sakura, I'm so sorry I killed him, I'm so sorry I never told you how much I loved you. I am just a mess you can leave if you want to."  
"I'm not going anywhere."  
"What?"  
"You heard me I'm not going anywhere."  
"Sakura you don't want to be here right now."  
"Why? Give me three good reasons why I shouldn't be here and then I can leave."  
"One, I am dangerous, two I can kill you since I love you too much, and three I don't want to hurt you anymore."  
"They're not good enough, I'm staying."  
"Sakura will you just get out of here before--." She kissed him.  
"Will you be quiet now?"  
"::speechless::" he just looks at her.  
"What's with that face? You just got kissed by me and all you are giving me is a look of surprise?"  
"Sakura... I... I just want to say I love you."  
"I love you too, but why did it take you ten years to tell me that? And why did you just hide all of these years?"  
"Hiding? You're telling me!! You were the one that I was looking for all of these years."  
"Why did you give up?"  
"Because you just wouldn't give me a sign. There was no trace of you and besides Tomoyo was helping me too."  
"You were with Tomoyo of all people?"  
"Sakura it isn't what it seems we just had a couple one night... sorry."  
"Syaoran you are one of the most annoying people I have ever met in my entire life you know that right? Further more you are really sick you know that? She was my best friend of all people. How could you?" she slapped him across the face.  
"Sakura please understand she was trying to help me."  
"So you slept with her a couple of times? Do you realize you hurt me even more by just telling me this?"  
"Sakura listen to me." Embraces her.  
"Keep your filthy hands off of me."  
"That was months back this is now. Please listen to me."  
Syaoran just turned her around so she could face him and then he kissed her hard and she began to soften up a little. He was kissing her like he did when she followed him home the first time they met. It was twelve years ago when she met him and twelve years ago when she made the horrible mistake of trying to love him.  
"Syaoran we can't." pulls away from the kiss.  
"I understand, I'll wait for you." He lets her go and runs to his room.  
"Syaoran! Don't take it like this again. I just can't we're going to make the same mistake again I know we are. I am sorry. I have to go now." She kisses him on the forehead before leaving.  
The door slams behind her and she doesn't leave the building she just sits by the door and begins to cry. Syaoran is already crying and wondering what he did wrong. He knew that the evil inside him was at fault and wanted to kill himself so badly, but he heard someone at his door crying. He walks to the door and finds Sakura sitting there crying.  
"Sakura I thought you left."  
"I can't I just can't. Why can't I leave you? Why?"  
"I don't know, I don't know." He kneels down to console her.  
"Every night for ten years, ten years Syaoran you are all I could think of and this is how I am repaid you have changed so much. I love you too much to even leave you or even hurt you. I know I hurt you a lot. I wish I could take the pain away, but it is done."  
"You already relieved me of my pain and suffering Sakura. Come inside now. I don't want my neighbors to think I was out here all night."  
"Okay."  
They went back into his apartment and stayed up all night trying to catch up. The next day the two went out to venture around Tokyo and Syaoran surprisingly proposed to her in the restaurant. She accepted.  
  
... to... be... continued....  
  
this is getting really corny I don't make sense right now... this is getting really corny... I swear it is... at this rate I think that I am going to get no reviews whatsoever and I don't care I just don't want to make this whole fanfiction seem like a piece of crap... I can't write anymore I need more ideas... there are no more reminisces of the real world... I hate that fact... haha... -lifesux88imeanit...


	6. I Had Won the Battle for That One Moment

I'm baaaack!!! After more than a year, I am back!! Excited too!! This is the final chapter to my story. It's taken me awhile to get back into the swing of things, but I think that this will be the best of what I've ever written in three years!! One thing for the reader though:

I have to apologize in advance if you don't like the ending at all. I don't want any one giving me mean comments. Besides the lesson of this whole fanfic is about infatuation and evil never mix. Well, enjoy reading.

Ps. I am moving ahead ten years again. So Syaoran is going to be speaking in past tense again. Sorry. It just adds to the fic and the purpose for my ending.

Chapter Six: I Had Won the Battle for That One Moment

I had asked her to marry me the day after we were reunited. It was the happiest day of my life when she accepted. That was what I thought for that moment. I remember coming back to Tomedea the week after and finding out that my mother was in town. I wasn't very happy the whole visit. My mother found out where I was staying and tracked me down while I was having a nice dinner with Sakura's family.

That was when my other side came out again. I was the angriest person in the restaurant and Sakura's father and brother were trying to hold me down, but I ended up giving them black eyes and each a broken arm. I jumped at my mother, but my cousin whom I didn't recognize blocked me. She was strong, but I was stronger and I ended up throwing her against the wall. Sakura tried to get away, but my mother stopped her and told her to stay and watch.

At that moment I stopped and looked to see where my mother was and found that she disappeared and Sakura was on the ground. I heard sobbing and then I saw a pool of blood surrounding her. The other people in the restaurant had left in fear because of my mother. My own mother had killed the only thing that had mattered most to me in the world besides the two children I had lost. I ran over to Sakura and she was still alive.

All I can remember from that moment on was when Sakura said,

"Syaoran... don't avenge my death. Let my... let my Onii-chan do it. Please... don't... don't be foolish and kill people again. Promise me... promise... Syaoran... I love..." and she was dead.

I had held her lifeless body for what seemed like an eternity. When I saw her emerald eyes close forever I was changed forever. I had never taken death seriously, I always thought of it as the fuel for my evil; now it was affecting me in a different way, I was crying for the first time in my life. As I held her in my arms for the last few moments before I would find a place to be alone, I remember burying my face on her dead body. I remember the smell of her blood pooling on the ground. I remember the pain I was in. I thought it was all over for me. I was wrong.

For weeks after her funeral, I had blamed myself; blamed myself that I should have died instead of her. I was always thinking why my mother had killed her of all people. Then it hit me, my mother took away my father, my childhood, my soul, she was the one that made me into who I was. So what I did was I went back home for the last time. Once I set foot back in Hong Kong, I remember how to speak Chinese again. I remembered what it was like to live in Hong Kong. I missed the busy open air markets, I missed the house I lived in for five years, and I missed my sisters. I knew I was angry that day I returned.

When I arrived at the mansion, the entire house stood still. I remember seeing the old faces from my few years of living there. One person recognized me and greeted me cheerfully, my eldest sister. She knew what I was there for and she took me straight to my mother, but before I could go into the room she said,

"Xiaolang, remember if you kill our mother we are all free, but you are to be the head of the house. Here use this; I was supposed to send this to you before you left." She handed me a sword that looked familiar from my dreams.

"This looks like the sword Mother gave to that cousin."

"And you're going to use it to kill her just the same as you killed all of those other people." she looked very serious.

"Sister, will you forgive me if I kill you someday?"

"Of course everyone forgives one time or another. It isn't impossible. Now, if you excuse me, I am going to leave you and Mistress alone. Best of luck Lone Wolf you will need it." she disappeared from my view.

Walking through that familiar door to that familiar room where my mother told me years before that I was going somewhere else. I wanted to destroy everything that made me who I was I wanted to destroy her. Upon entering, I saw the family portrait with me as a baby and my father; he looked happy, but something wasn't right about the infant in the portrait. It didn't look like me. The infant was a girl. It was my cousin. My alleged cousin was my sister. I saw another family photo and saw me. Then my mother came in from another room.  
Ever since I could remember she always had an aura about her that would frighten me, but that day, I wasn't fearful of her presence, I was ready for the kill. Once she entered the room I had said,

"Any last words Mother before you die?"

"Your son isn't dead."

"You're lying."

"See for yourself." She opened a secret door behind her bookcase and there was a mirror image of me when I was eleven.

"It can't be!" I dropped my sword and ran over to the little boy.

He was frightened as I could feel as I embraced him, but he knew who I was.

"Daddy."

"Yes, I'm here. We're going to leave and never return." I looked back at my mother.

"You cannot take him with you."

"What are you saying? I can't take my own flesh and blood with me? How dare you!!" I picked up my sword and watched my mother fall to my feet.

I had killed my own mother for the purpose of seeking revenge. That was my whole plan; I never had the idea that my only living reminder of Sakura would be alive. But as I picked him up I heard my mother moan, she was still alive. I turned around to see and she was trying to pull the sword from her chest. I walked over and pulled it out hearing her scream. The whole house knew what was going on so they didn't bother to interfere. I just left and never looked back.

With my son in my arms, I just walked out of the door and headed for the airport. I didn't care where I would go at that moment; I just wanted to get him away from Hong Kong. That was when my whole life started over again. I was freed from my own mother and the pain that I felt when Sakura died was lifted as well. It was a good feeling then as it is now.

Ten more years passed and now, my son Sam, he's graduating out of college. I've told him for the past ten years that his mother was always thinking about him when she thought he was dead. I think that he still remembers what Sakura looks like from when he was just a little baby, but I may be wrong. I'm just glad he's not dead at all; my life would be worse if he hadn't been brought back into my life. Concerning my mother, I found out from an email after I had murdered her that she had her funeral. My eldest sister had visited me once to check on Sam, but from what I have heard recently she has been very busy with the family business.

Even if I had raised Sam as a single parent, I think it reminds me of Sakura. The only difference was that there was no sister for Sam. He told me all of the time that he always thought he had a sister. I couldn't tell him what happened to his younger sister. Or so I thought she was dead. I had received a letter in the mail three years after my mother's death and it was from my daughter Chance. She wrote to me telling me that she wanted to know who her brother and father were. So I replied and I took her home with me a month later.

The day I was reunited with my daughter was the day I felt completely at ease with life. She told me what happened to her. I had found out my mother kidnapped her and replaced her with a dead baby's body to make it look like she died. My mother was also responsible for the fake death of Sam and his adopted parents. I was somewhat angry, but I was happy to see my kids grown up.

And here ends my story of sadness and death and here starts a new story of joy and hope. I still think of my beloved Sakura where ever she is in the world. Now I have two of the best children a father can ever have.

The end

Okay, I don't think that this was the original ending I had in mind, but I think it is really good for now. So what did you think of it? Good ending for the freaky fanfic? It feels really great to actually get back into writing fanfiction after a year. So drop me any comments. And look out for my upcoming one (title still to be determined) for Evangelion. Ja ne


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